You never deserved to be loved by me.

You said I was clingy.

You said I am clingy.

You said I am crazy.

One thing for sure;

you never deserved

to be loved by me.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You hurt me, and you keep doing it.

You hurt me, and you keep doing it.

You chose your friends when you hurt me once. You chose another girl when you hurt me twice. Now, I am willing to give you the third chance to prove yourself to me, but you broke my trust again and again. You never change.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You never deserved to be called a man.

You said I was weird.

You said I am weird.

You said I am freak.

One thing for sure;

you never deserved

to be called a man.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You hurt me, but you ignored it.

You hurt me, but you ignored it.

It is time to really say goodbye for real. You always make me doubt myself. Lately, you make me questioning my self worth; like I do not deserve the world, like I do not deserve to be loved, like my weaknesses can not be loved by anyone.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You never deserved to be given a chance.

You do not deserve me.

You do not deserve me.

You do not deserve me.

One thing for sure;

you never deserved

to be given a chance.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You hurt me, but you smiled in the end.

You hurt me, but you smiled in the end.

What is the point of all this? I might be the one who reached out to you first after all this time. However, do you not think you should have used your chance to make everything better now? I have given you another chance, but you wasted it.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You were not there to be my only one.

You did not realize.

You did not care.

You did not believe.

One thing for sure;

you were not there

to be my only one.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You hurt me, but you laughed because of it.

You hurt me, but you laughed because of it.

Words can be hurtful, sometimes. Moreover if words I have avoided all my life were spoken by the one and only love, whom I thought would consider my feelings more than anyone else in this world. Your words hurt me. I hate you.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You were not there to protect my heart.

You did not want me.

You did not need me.

You did not love me.

One thing for sure;

you were not there

to protect my heart.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You hurt me, but you never realized it.

You hurt me, but you never realized it.

I kept calling your name in all my prayers, although you gave me scars I could never erase. You drew stars in my sky, when actually you were never there from the start. The words you said were meaningless. You lied. Always lying.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Being a lost star.

Being a lost star;

does not mean

my soul is lonely.

I was lost, once.

I was down, twice.

I was hurt, thrice.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Thank you for taking my love for granted.

Thank you for not keeping any of your promises. Thank you for giving up on me first. Thank you for laughing when I bleed. Thank you for taking my love for granted. Thank you for faking your love to me. Thank you for always making me cry at 3AM. 

Our eight years end here.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

I will pray to God, for me to keep loving despite it all.

Instead, I will pray to God, for me to keep loving despite it all. I will pray to God, for me to stay kind in a world that is not so kind to me. I will pray to God, for you to find someone who deeply cares for you. I will pray to God, for you to love and be loved in return.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

I will not hurt you back.

I will not pray anymore, to change you to become what I want you to be. I will not pray anymore, to make you love me even more. I will not pray anymore, to pay you back for what you have done to me. I will not pray anymore, for our blue future. I will not hurt you back.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

I will cherish our eight years for as long as I can.

Our eight years is not wasted. Our eight years is everything. Our eight years is going to be one of the best things that ever happened in my life. I will cherish our eight years for as long as I can. Rest assured, you will never be forgotten. Our love will remain hidden. Forever.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You are a sailor and I am a gardener.

Maybe, just maybe. If we pray a little harder, we could be born again as two people with simple minds. Maybe we can live in a countryside, having our best lives together. You are a sailor and I am a gardener. You will bring home some food and I will decorate our home.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

We might not be the best in all things.

We might not be the best in all things, but I am sure our love is good. Although I wish we could be everlasting friends for years, but staying alive together is enough for me. This relationship does not work out for us, but remember that I will always care for you.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Let me try to breathe again.

Looking back, I have not done anything great. I tried so hard to keep falling so that you could catch me with all your might, but I failed miserably and you laughed.

Remembering that one precious moment is fine, right?

Let me help myself. Let me try to breathe again.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

I should let you go.

I should let you go.

It is time to say no.

We should move.

It is time to leave.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

The bittersweet taste is still my favorite.

To think that I might want to protect our eight years of being together is making me restless. I do not want to go through all the hell you gave me once more, yet I want to feel your lips pressed against mine for the last time. The bittersweet taste is still my favorite.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Our eight is always different.

Our eight is always gonna be us raising our voices to each other around 3AM just to win a silly little debate. Our eight is always gonna be us being eight years old although we both are in our twenties.

Shame on us, do not you think so?

Our eight is always different.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

What if we were eight years sober.

Eight. What if I was eight years younger than you, would you still listen to every word I say? Instead of bickering, would not it be nice if we could just sit down and talk about our feelings? What if we were eight years sober, would our story deserve a title Perfect Marriage?

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

We move on.

Moving on. I will keep every sunsets we have watched together inside the album of memories, letting them become dusty until I do not have the urge to rewind back those beautiful time of ours anymore.

Ours. Those eight years are indeed ours, but now it is just theirs. We move on.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

The love we desire is not the love we earned.

I thought our eight years were special.

The love we desire is not the love we earned. I am sick of how you keep on believing that we could change the future by staying in the present. No, the clock is ticking, yet the time is wasting. Yes, we should really forget everything and move forward.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Monochrome, our story.

However, all I see is just you and me in the middle of the night staring straight at each other's eyes without even saying a word. My cheeks are painted with the vibrant color, yet your eyes turned black as you let another teardrop falling down my cheeks.

Monochrome, our story.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

The love is not real.

The love is not here.

The love is not real.

Where is the love?

Where is the heart?

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

You draw my frame lifeless.

You leave me breathless.

You draw my frame lifeless.

You put me as a second option.

You decide everything on your own.

After all these years of ups and downs, happiness and sickness, we really are going down deeper, drowning in the sea called revenge. We indeed are dead.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Maybe I must love until I no longer feel the need to love anymore.

Maybe I must love until I no longer feel the need to love anymore. Maybe I must hate until I no longer feel the need to hate anymore. Maybe I must bleed until I no longer have any scarlet color left in my paintings. Maybe I must forget until I become forever forgotten.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

Nevertheless, I cannot just simply unlove you.

Even so, this crestfallen heart is willing to keep loving you from afar. I never believe things will work out for us, because I know that we are just merely empty shells before our eyes met. Nevertheless, I cannot just simply unlove you. Our love is always the crazy one.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

I am homeless now.

I am willing to forget your sweet lips, warm hugs, along with the classic memories you have planted in my tiny little garden. Without even apologizing for leaving me homeless, you break free from my cage until I can no longer call you my home anymore. I am homeless now.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.