This is the mistake you're making. You're focusing too much on your backup plan and too little on what actually makes you happy. You're letting the opinion of others dictate your life when they are just supposed to be mere guidelines. You're giving in to your irrational fears. Things you know are simply not as scary as they seem, if you would just give yourself some time to think deeply and process them. At the end of the day, you've got one life. You can either spend it telling yourself to wait a little longer before you try out the things you have in mind, or you can actually go out and do your best to live it.
Sincerely yours,Senjakala.
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