031 ㅡ Live this life by being who you are.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

Don't mind others. This is your world. This is your life. You can be whatever you want. Live this life by being who you are. God creates you with lots of talent and you are perfect for Him, so don't let others bring you down. You don't need people to value your existence, but you have to love yourself even more because no one is ugly, and no one's life is bad. You just have to change your perspective of seeing things in life. If today you see yourself as a bad luck person, then go to your room, lock the door, and talk to God. You'll find peace and you'll be okay.

From Senjakala (2018).

030 ㅡ That's what I like about you. You are a strong character.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

This is gonna be the most important thing that I want you to remember. Please be with someone who loves you just the way you are. Be with someone who makes you happy for no reason. Be with someone who makes you feel loved. Don't be with someone who only makes you lose your confidence. Don't be with someone who values you only because of your looks, your stuffs, and your outfits, but be with someone who sincerely making an effort to get to know you better. Yes, effort, not just by words, but real efforts, not excuses. Be with someone who makes you feel special, not with someone who loves making others feel the same as you. Be with someone who sincerely wants to build dreams with you, not with someone who only placing you as an option.

I know you. I know what kind of person you are. When you want to be with someone, you'll go with that person no matter what happens, but it's extremely hard to make you fall for someone since you actually don't really believe in what they called love. Well, especially when a man already stepped on a boundary you have built, like making you lose your confidence by saying words you don't like to hear, making you hate yourself, or just simply doing things you don't like by being impolite, and I know when you don't like it, you'll leave everything behind, even if you have thought for a brief moment that you might end up with this person. No one knows what's ahead, no one knows the future, but I'm sure you'll end up with someone who makes you happy, not with someone who only makes you feel insecure. It's not easy to make you fall head over heels because you've come to a realization that you love yourself more, so you want the person you're dating to love you sincerely for who you are, not for what you are. You have the power. You are strong. That's what I like about you. You are a strong character.

From Senjakala (2018).

029 ㅡ Being happy is a state of mind.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

No one could ever drag you down because you are now walking your own path. You're now enjoying your life to the fullest. You can stand strong alone. You were brave yesterday, you are brave today, and you'll be braver tomorrow. You don't need anyone to stand beside you because even if you are alone, you can do everything you like and you can be happy. Being happy is a state of mind. You are happy. You have found your happiness. It's within you. You have loved yourself even more now and that's what makes you stronger than ever. You won't be crying because of small things anymore. You'll be fine with people come and go from your life. That's a part of learning. That's life.

From Senjakala (2018).

028 ㅡ You don't live to please others.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

This is gonna be a quick reminder for you. Even if there's no one standing beside you right now, remember that I will always be there for you. You'll be okay. You'll do well. You'll get to do what you love. You'll be the best version of yourself, and no one could ever bring you down. If today you don't feel like talking to anyone, then don't force yourself. You don't live to please others. I'll remind you once again that you are perfect just the way you are. You are loved, and you deserve the whole world. If there are people who make you feel uncomfortable with yourself, leave them, Darling. Why? Because you have to love yourself more. You are more than you think you are. You are stronger than you think you are. You'll survive this world. 

From Senjakala (2018).

027 ㅡ It's enough to chase and be chased.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

You know what, I think it's a nice decision to forget everything and start doing things that make you happier. Even if it means you're going back to your routine, but it's better than keeping toxic people in your life and doing toxic thing that isn't your style. It's a perfect decision to start over. You'll be okay. You've done well. You're doing great. I'm proud of you.

It's enough to chase and be chased. I know you're tired of everything. Because of that, I want you to shut people out, and start thinking about your own future for now because I want you to be happier first. I want you to be that one person who resonates happiness to others. Well, if they think that you might reconsider everything, then they need to give up since I know you will never going back and you'll never turn your head when you've decided to move forward. So, keep this in your mind that you can do it! You can be whatever you want. Build your dreams and make them all happen. Don't forget to do everything with love because God loves you so much, so you have to love yourself even more.

From Senjakala (2018).

026 ㅡ You are stronger alone, so why bother wanting someone to stand beside you?

Dear Senjakala (2019),

You've learned more things about life. You are now loving yourself even more. You are more confident, and you're more beautiful since you're happier. It's really a nice decision to stop everything and going back to where you used to be.

Being alone is not a crime. You are stronger alone, so why bother wanting someone to stand beside you? It's a nuisance. You are surrounded by lots of great people like your family, your friends, and all the people who taught you how to survive in this cruel world. So, all you need is yourself going really strong because you have the power to live proudly.

From Senjakala (2018).

025 ㅡ You two are most likely strangers to each other.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

I've analyzed lots of stuff. All the things he did to you, all the words he said to you were completely something you avoid. The words he said sometimes become a little hurtful and what he did sometimes makes you feel uneasy. At first, you thought that would be interesting to try going out with a person like that, but deep in your heart, the score is zero. Am I right? At first, you thought he might be the one, but now you know he's just a passerby.

Well, things got complicated at some point, and there was the time when you seriously thought about everything. You thought you liked him when you actually not. You thought you have found your happiness when you actually not. You thought he might be the one for you, but he’s actually not. You two are most likely strangers to each other, I guess, so I think you don't really have to explain everything in words since I know you don't like going straight to something unclear. You also don't like being the one who thought both of you had something when you two actually not, so I'm gonna let you leave him be.

From Senjakala (2018).

024 ㅡ You deserve to be a decision, not an option.

Dear Senjakala (2019),

Being in love isn't like this. Wake up, and start analyzing some things. It's about give and give, not give and take. If it's about taking for granted, then it is not right to keep moving forward. You will have to stop everything and close the book. Stop writing another chapter that isn't going anywhere, but only breaking your heart. You deserve to be a decision, not an option. You deserve to be loved.

It's no use to going back doing all the sweet things since I know you've done thinking and you'll start working on what's written in your plans for 2019 soon. Well, it's too late. It's now my decision to decide.

From Senjakala (2018).

023 ㅡ Carilah dia yang mampu membangkitkan versi terbaik dari dirimu.

Teruntuk, diriku; yang seringkali merindu.

Ini pesanku untukmu, diriku.

Kamu harus tahu bahwa dirimu pantas dicintai.

Kamu lebih dari apa yang kamu bayangkan.

Kamu harus bahagia walau dengan air mata.

Kamu kuat.

Kamu yang terbaik.

Kamu pernah membayangkan indahnya dicintai sepenuh hati oleh seseorang, bukan? Ah, bukannya pernah lagi, melainkan aku tahu, kamu terlampau sering membayangkan hal itu hingga ketika tangan tak sampai, maka kamu terjatuh begitu dalam. Oleh karena itu, di sini aku akan menyadarkanmu bahwa nyatanya hidup tak akan sesuai dengan harapanmu, sebab Tuhan tidak akan memberikan segalanya yang kamu inginkan, tetapi Tuhan akan memberikan segalanya yang kamu butuhkan. Kamu harus tahu itu, aku.

Lantas, untuk apa kamu mendambakan kehadiran sosok yang hanya akan menjadi pelengkap hidupmu saja di saat kamu bisa hebat dan kuat tanpa siapa pun di sampingmu? Carilah dia yang mampu membangkitkan versi terbaik dari dirimu yang selama ini terlelap.

Percayalah padaku, kamu bisa bahagia.

Salam hangat,

Senjakala.

022 ㅡ Dia hanya meneliti, bukan ingin menempati.

Harum kopi menguar,

memanggilku keluar,

agar pikiranku tak lagi liar,

karena mataku berpendar,

mencari dia yang tanpa sadar,

menempatkanku di luar radar.

Pahit seperti kopi,

perihnya hati,

yang tak sengaja tersakiti,

oleh dia yang hanya meneliti,

bukan ingin menempati,

dan tak minat untuk berjanji.

Hanya itu yang aku punya. Tak ingin lagi dimanja, sebab semua hanya pura-pura menggunakan permainan kata. Iya, bukan? Oleh karena itu, sudahi saja. Selamat tinggal, Angan.

Salam hangat,

Senjakala.