7 things I'd tell my younger self.

7 things I'd tell my younger self:

1. Travel alone. It's easier than you think.

2. Tell people how you feel. It will save you a lot of time.

3. Make mistakes. You're not going to regret most of them.

4. Sadness isn't forever.

5. Overthinking is not a waste of time. That's how you figure things out.

6. Listen more to yourself. Most people don't have the answers.

7. Be nice to people. It will come back to you.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

9 things I've learned in June.

9 things I've learned in June:

1. If you're unhappy, it's not worth it.

2. Stop waiting for others to be ready to live the life that you want. Do what you want to do, the rest will follow.

3. It's easy to want something you don't have. But when you have something and still want it, that's when you know it's real.

4. People will tell you all sorts of things. None of it will mean anything if they don't get it done.

5. If you know what's good for you, do that. It is as simple as that.

6. Stop going back to an experience you've already concluded isn't for you. "This time" won't be any different. Move on.

7. It's better to have things suck for awhile as you seek improvement, than to be stuck in a situation you don't want to be in anymore.

8. Have long conversations with people. You will look back and realize that some people make you feel good, and some you don't care at all. stay close to the people who make you feel good.

9. Not everything has to be super serious all the time. Have fun with your life before it's over.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

9 lessons you need to unlearn.

9 lessons you need to unlearn:

1. Unlearn the need to be good at everything you do. It is okay to suck at the things you enjoy.

2. Unlearn following the majority for answers. Most people don't know what they are doing anyway.

3. Unlearn having to be productive all the time. Your life is not a to-do list.

4. Unlearn being someone you're not. Other people's expectations of you is not your responsibility.

5. Unlearn the need to get along with everyone. You don't need a lot of friends, just a few right ones will do.

6. Unlearn doing everything yourself. Life is easier when you ask for help.

7. Unlearn having to win every argument. Lose the fight, not the relationship.

8. Unlearn trying to control everything. The best things happen when you least expect it.

9. Unlearn the need to be happy all the time. We all have sad days and it is equally important to take time to grieve.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

9 things I've learned after I let go.

9 things I've learned after I let go:

1. Things will suck immediately after. That's okay. It will take time for new things to enter your life.

2. A part of you will miss the old life. That feeling will fade when you find better things to surround yourself with.

3. You can't force things to stay. Enjoy the memories. Be glad that it happened, but you can't dwell on it.

4. Choose yourself first. If letting go helps you find your way back to yourself, it is worth it.

5. Letting go will help you to find peace. You've been carrying all this dead weight for so long. You don't need them anymore. Let yourself be free.

6. It will hurt for awhile, but you will be happier in the future. If you never let go, it will hurt forever.

7. If it's meant to be, it will come back. Sometimes people have to grow apart for awhile before they can grow together again.

8. Most of the fear is really just in your head. Once you let go, you will be able to see things for what they really are, and it's never as scary as you think.

9. It's already over. Stop holding on to what isn't there anymore.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

847 ㅡ Let me worship you.

After a lot of contemplation, I think I'll level up myself and my relationship with the people I love the most. Well, it can be person not people because I don't think I can handle many people at the same time. If I have set my eyes on someone, I'll only focus on that person.

Asking "do you want to be worshipped by me?" is my new way to say "do you want to be loved by me?" because I can relate so much to a relationship where two people constantly give and give without thinking about being selfish to each other. They will pour their love to the fullest.

Let me worship you. Let me love you. Let me take care of you. Let me treat you better. I'll give you all my heart so you'll never have time to question whether or not you're worthy to be in love. Because .. Dear, you are. Each of us, everyone deserves to love and be loved in return.

This isn't the same as hopeless romantic. Just like Mijeong in My Liberation Notes drama, she'll stop giving once her heart is fulled. However, that doesn't guarantee she'll stop loving. Loving someone still means you'll put their happiness above yours sincerely, wholeheartedly.

And deciding to love someone means you'll be sincere to your own feelings, you'll try to always give your best for them, you'll show your support, you'll be there for them through ups and downs, and most importantly you'll be happy just by seeing them safe and happy. That's love.

So I think I'll change "let me love you" to "let me worship you" now. I'll give my heart, my attention, and my everything to the chosen one. I'll shower them with love and get the love I deserve in return until my heart is full. It's one step closer to a healthy relationship.

"Do you want to be worshipped by me?"

Let me worship you. However, if you agreed, you should do the same. Worship me, love me, shower me with the love I deserve, and we can help each other by filling the emptiness inside our hearts. I believe, loving you means loving myself, too.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

846 ㅡ Please love me.

After watching another two episodes of My Liberation Notes, I think things are getting more serious when Mijeong speaks up about her feelings of meeting only jerks in her life, then asking Mr. Gu to worship her.

I mean, it's a new way to ask someone "please love me" in a very mature way.

Other than taking it as "please love me" it also can be considered as "let's fall in love" or "let's love each other wholeheartedly" so when I watched that part last night, I was stunned for like ten minutes before realizing that the words could be so painful yet beautiful, too.

The feeling of being empty inside is torturing. The feeling of not being able to love or fall in love, is indeed painful. Thus when Mijeong cries in front of Mr. Gu and giving him an offer that if he doesn't have anything to do, he can worship her, he can love her, I cried a little.

I believe we all have been through that phase where we need something or someone to make us feel alive, to make us feel important, to make us feel extremely grateful and blessed that we're still breathing. And it's not easy to find an answer to all of our questions about life.

It's somehow the same as how we want at least one person to stay beside us, listening to our stories, staying quiet when we ramble about our feelings, and at the end of the day we just want at least one person to believe in us, to help us filling the emptiness inside our hearts.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

845 ㅡ She has to live, so she lives.

Last night I watched My Liberation Notes and it's indeed such a heartwarming drama. I can relate so much to Kim Jiwon's character, Mijeong, in the drama. She feels like she doesn't belong anywhere and she just lives her life to the point that it becomes the same as breathing.

She has to live, so she lives. I remember a scene where her work doesn't get good feedback from her manager, then she cries because of it. I feel her sadness, I can feel how it relates so much to my life, our lives. Although we cry a lot because it's hard, we still keep going and live our lives.

And Mr. Gu and Mijeong's love is just so calming. I'm so into their kind of healthy relationship. The fact that Mijeong doesn't really talk on the first two episodes indeed makes me try to understand her feelings even more, and now that I've seen how she slowly changes for the better because of Mr. Gu and vice versa, I understand why we all need love in our lives.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

844 ㅡ You just want to love and be loved in return?

Have you ever felt like you're tired of being the only one who always giving to the world? Have you ever felt like sometimes you just want to get spoiled and be selfish once in a while, like you want to be embraced by other people without you even asking them to do it for you?

Have you ever felt like you want to get all the love by having your beloved ones by your side? Have you ever felt like you want people to think of you as someone very important when they're happy, not only when they're sad? Have you ever felt like everyone's forgetting about you?

Have you ever felt like you just want to love and be loved in return? Have you ever felt like even though you know that good things take time, sometimes you just can't help but wishing for your significant other to eventually come very soon to save you from the solitude you're in?

I just want to be found,

my only wish, that's it.

... but then I woke up.

I realized, I'm all alone.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

843 ㅡ Thank you for attending my TED Talk.

I think it's clearly shown how I very much enjoy my life these past few days. I've been staying away from all the shits that keep on hurting me for months, now I'm freeing myself. I'm currently taking a break from expanding my social circle since it's a little bit troublesome.

I believe that life supposes to be like this. We gotta have such balance to do what we love. I mean, it's true that I freaking love writing. I can write every single day without a break, and I will never complain about it. However, there are still times when I don't feel good.

Of course, about myself. I won't talk about insecurities since I rarely feel insecure and I always know what I'm capable of. But the thing is, I dislike some circumstances I'm currently in. There's this universe which making me feel insignificant. I feel like I don't belong there.

I have my very own reason why I choose to take a break from writing. It scares me how people tend to look down on someone who has sincere heart to befriend everyone without a doubt, while at the same time they enjoy hanging aound other people who have more impact in the universe.

I hardly believe that I'm currently talking about impact. Well, what I'm trying to say is I find it very amusing, seeing people be like praising other people for what they did even though the act didn't even service or benefit them at all. They only praise for the sake of popularity.

It's fine, though. I don't mind being placed as the second option. I'm used to it. Still, don't step on someone just because you think that they don't have anything to offer and they're just nothing. It matters a lot how you treat other people. Don't be so cocky, life's a gamble.

Having another heartbreak because of this doesn't surprise me anymore. I always be the one who's being forgotten and I'm the one who forgives almost all the time, so what's new? This adds another reason why I choose to be alone and never wonder about the life of party people.

I'm always enough because I have a warm little family, also one beloved sister whose heart is so big that I can sleepover every time I feel depressed and she never makes me feel small. She's the one who supports me and never give up on me. I love it so much, having a twin sister.

Back to the topic, just don't be so fast judging people. It's a friendly reminder for us that we might not see everything, so don't take everyone as nothing. Believe me, maybe one day we'll get surprised by their achievements. We might not congratulate them, but we'll see, haha.

Maybe we'll start to hope that we could build relations with them because of their popularity. However, life's hard. Who knows the rejection will be at your front door? Before that really happens, don't you think we all should be kind to everyone by not taking them for granted?

Yes, let's do that, you and me, us, together. As for now, I'll promise you that I'll keep improving myself to the point that I don't need anyone to validate my existence in this universe. Keep in mind, players gonna play, and haters gonna hate. People change, and life must go on.

If you think you can easily disrespect me and coming back like nothing ever happened, I'll gladly show you the door where you can exit. Last but not least, thank you for attending my TED Talk.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.

842 ㅡ Because it's all part of your destined path.

Your heart desires it because it is already written in your destiny. What your heart desires is not a mere wish but a divine calling, and it's already written in the stars. Trust the journey, because it's all part of your destined path. Every longing, every dream, is a reflection of the life that is already unfolding for you. Embrace the process, for each step brings you closer to the fulfillment of what was always meant to be yours.

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.