I realize that it is very hard for me to choose you.

I guess a week has passed already since the last time I replied to your messages. It is true that I need some time to contemplate about lots of things. It is true that I need some air to breathe since I have been struggling with myself even before you came into my miserable life.

I think this is just how I become selfish. I keep on consuming your love without even thinking to give back to you. First of all, I do like you. I remember how fascinating how we first met back then. Scary, yet still fascinating. So, I can say that I like you.

Through all the time that we have spent together, you give me so much comfort. But, I realize that it is very hard for me to choose you. Although I do like you, I keep chasing over something I cannot touch, which is something called love.

I swear, this is truly who I am. This is truly how I handle things. I always run when things get complicated, and now I run for my life from the you that keeps caring, even though I build my solid walls stronger and stronger every day. Do you not know how to give up?

I want love. I really do. I really want to be loved. But, I do not want to be so selfish by keeping you inside my embrace when we are just friends to each other. I do not want to cry over something stupid, like hoping that someday we might really end up together. 

Sincerely yours,

Senjakala.